為什麼有人明明很年輕,卻總說自己「中危」?丨夜聽雙語

2018.8.12 周日

韶華

那些「90後老阿姨」到底在想什麼?

放鬆

憂慮

雙語君(微信ID:Chinadaily_Mobile)身邊老有人說「唉,老了老了」,說話者也不過20上下,要是這話讓長輩們聽到可能會哭笑不得。

不過今年3月份,聯合國認定92年出生的人已經步入中年,可以被稱作「中年人」了,照這麼算,26歲就是中年,看這篇文章的你可能也離中年危機不遠了,所以也難怪年輕小夥子小姑娘們都開始說自己老了。

仔細想想,你或許還真的有老了的跡象,例如說喜歡早睡,不到10點就爬上了床,而且還不用鬧鐘就會凌晨5點起床。

又或許,你的身體在向你發送老了的信號,像是蹲久了站起來很費力,膝蓋會疼上半天,一到雨天就更是如此。

有人在reddit網站提問說:

」What is something you do that would be considered something an 「old person」 would do」

有什麼事是別人覺得老年人才會有(做)的?

我們選了一些有代表性的回答,看看你有沒有中槍。

Crack like a glow stick whenever I stand up. I’m 21.

站起來全身骨頭就跟熒光棒似的噼裡啪啦響,我才21歲啊

Forget what I was doing.

老是忘了我在幹嘛

I’m always like, “teenagers today…”

我的口頭禪:「現在的00後啊」

Getting my hair cut at a barbershop that has almost entirely older people

我剪頭髮的店裡的顧客幾乎全是老人家

Read the newspaper

看報

I take vitamins in the morning and floss

早上吃維生素,還剔牙

Take naps

白天一定要睡會兒

I peek out the windows and watch the neighbors suspiciously…

我會從窗戶裡偷偷摸摸地窺探鄰居的一舉一動

Having the time of my life shopping for cool kitchen gadgets/appliances

花時間在超市裡選購好看的廚具/廚房用品

Pickling

做泡菜

Doing chores to self-help/life advice themed podcasts

邊做家務邊聽勵志生活主題的播客

I drive a manual, and I shame people that don’t.

我開手動擋的車,還鄙視那些開自動擋的

其實有一些與自己年齡不相符的表現並不一定只是意味著變老,還有可能是變得成熟。有些早熟的小孩兒就特別有趣。

When my son was 4 1/2 and learning the concept of infinity he said, “So if numbers never end, there must be numbers less than zero.”

我兒子四歲半的時候我教他數學裡無窮的概念,他說:「所以說如果數是無窮的,那肯定就有比0還小的數吧」。

I was explaining taxes to a 13 year old, and different tax brackets. I mentioned that my ex girlfriend had made twice as much as I did annually, but had found a way to pay the same taxes as me despite being in different brackets.He said: “She made twice as much as you did? So why’d you leave her?”

我跟一個13歲的小孩兒解釋個稅,以及不同的征稅等級。舉例子的時候我提到了我的前女友,她年薪是我的兩倍,但是找到了方法避稅,即便征稅等級跟我的不一樣,但繳的稅跟我一樣少。這小孩兒說:「她年薪是你的兩倍?那你幹嘛離開她?」

A few days after we were in a car accident, I said something to her about what she was doing and my 4 year old narrowed her eyes, looked right at me and said, “Well at least I didn’t flip the car over.”

之前我發生過一次車禍,過了幾天,那天我正在教育我四歲的女兒,結果她瞇著眼睛看著我,說道:「起碼我沒翻過車啊。」

早熟還是先老,你是哪一種?

感謝好聽的bgm:

Halo – Lotte Kestner

Notes

glow stick: n 熒光棒

barbershop: n 理髮店

vitamin: n 維生素

floss: v 用牙線剔牙

nap: n (日間的)小睡

peek: v 偷看

suspiciously: adv 疑心的

gadget: n 小器具;小裝置

appliance: n (家用)電器,器具

pickle: v 醃漬泡菜

chore: n 雜務

podcast: n 播客

bracket: n (價格、年齡、收入等的)組級,等級

flip: v 使快速翻轉

主播:拉面

編輯:李雪晴

這是「夜聽雙語」第25期的節目,下周日見!

本欄目由中國日報雙語新聞與奧德賽閱讀聯合出品。

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