天生不好看也沒關係,父輩們不也都找到對象了嗎?丨夜聽雙語

2018.8.05 周日

顏值

好看的皮囊,其實也是百裡挑一

保養

荒度

前兩天刷微博看到有人自嘲說:

「戀愛這方面,戀愛是不可能戀愛的,這輩子不可能戀愛的,化妝又不會化,就是p一些照騙才能夠維持得了生活這樣子……」

說是自己相貌平平卻又外協,喜歡自己的又不想屈就,免得害了對方;自己喜歡的要麼不敢告白,要麼屢屢碰壁。

《初戀這件小事》劇照

長相這個東西啊,不僅自己想要擁有,也希望對方擁有。

但是和有趣的靈魂一樣,好看的皮囊也是百裡挑一呀。大多數人都沒能擁有與生俱來的好看。

今天分享的這個故事,主角因為從小長得又高又胖,青春期臉上還狂冒痘兒,因此受到了不少的欺負。一起來聽聽看相貌對她的影響。

Growing up in prep school, I was the tallest student in class. That means I was taller than all girls as well as guys. I can sense that one of the reasons why people do not approach me to be friends with was because of my height.

我念預備學校的時候就是班裡最高的學生,比所有女生乃至男生都高。我能感覺到這可能就是別人不願接近我跟我交朋友的原因之一,也就是因為我的身高。

Perhaps, it intimidated them? That is a bit odd, because as far as I know, I was far from being intimidating. I was a quiet and shy kid, but once you get to know me, I would talk a lot.

可能我太高了嚇到他們了?也不對啊,因為據我所知,我根本不會嚇別人啊。我本來就是個安靜害羞的小孩兒,不過要是你跟我熟了,我也會很話癆。

Fast forward to the lowest points in my life, my grade school years (especially Grades 4–6). I was still taller compared to most of my batchmates, and I added some chub as well.

講到我人生的低谷,也就是我小學的時候(特別是小學四年級到六年級),我還是比班裡絕大多數同學要高,而且我還胖了。

《初戀這件小事》劇照

I guess my appearance began to attract bullies as early as 1st Grade, when one of the girls wrote on one of the bathroom stalls, 「Sara Tan pig, she lives in Grade 1-C.」 At first, I let it slide, but as the years went by, puberty hit me out of nowhere. As the weight in the scale began to increase, the bullying got worse.

我想我應該是早在一年級的時候就因為外貌受到欺負了,當時有個女生在廁所隔間裡寫「Sara Tan是頭豬,她是一年級C班的」。起初我沒在意,但是隨著時間流逝,青春期把我懟了個不輕。體重不斷增加,霸凌也加劇了。

Having bad acne and awfully fizzy hair with the weight gain did not help the situation. I became a target of bullying for the guys, calling me names like 「Ogre」 or 「Ugly」 or 「Eeww」. Sometimes, people approach or talk to me as a bet from their friends.

臉上冒痘、頭髮也亂蓬蓬的、體重還只增不減,我的狀況完全沒有變好,變成了男生們霸凌的對象,他們給我取小名,像是什麼「食人魔」、「醜八怪」、「惡心」等等。有時候他們過來跟我講話是因為跟朋友打了賭。

At that point, I began to have the skewed perspective that people just approach me because they want to make fun of me, or ridicule me. I barely talked, and would spend most of the time on my desk, drawing the pain away. If ever someone did approach me, though, I tend to interact with them with hostility.

那個時候我就心想,他們接近我不過就是想要取笑我奚落我。我就很少開口講話了,大多數時候就坐在桌前畫畫,轉移這些痛苦。如果還是有人跟我講話,我也往往對他們充滿敵意。

《初戀這件小事》劇照

Oddly enough, despite all that harshness I faced that time, I had this sliver of hope in me, hope that one day, this storm will pass, and I will have a better life in high school. Thankfully, things did get better in high school. There were still occasional instances of bullying, but it was not as severe as that in grade school. It was during this time that I began to make friends that up to now, I still keep in touch with. My hair was still a big fizz back then but it definitely tamed down compared to before.

奇怪的是,就算經受了那麼多糟糕的對待,我還是心存一點點希望,渴望哪天這場風暴就會過去,高中的時候就能過得舒服點兒。幸虧,高中的時候的確好受些了。盡管不時還是有人欺負我,但比起小學的時候好多了。也就是在這段時間裡面,我交到了好多至今仍在聯繫的好朋友。頭髮還是有點兒亂蓬蓬的,但是跟之前比還是順了好多了。

I believe that whatever I experienced in the past taught me to become resilient in rough times and hope for a better future. Sure, I could have fought back, but given my low self-confidence, shattered self-esteem and how much I hate myself because I did not fit in with the crowd, I simply cried whenever I was alone and distract myself with drawing.

我相信過去經歷的所有事情都教會了我要在逆境中堅忍不拔,對未來懷抱期望。沒錯,我是可以當時就還擊的,但是我那時候很不自信,自尊也受損,而且因為不合群我很討厭自己,正因為這些,所以我就哭啊,一個人哭,只能用畫畫轉移注意力。

Currently, I am in college. A couple of years ago, I started changing my eating habits and began implementing workout sessions 4–6 times a week. At first, I was reluctant by these changes, but knowing how much I wanted to lose weight so badly, I did it for myself. Before long, I started to love healthy eating and working out. It didn’t take long for me to lost the chub, and my acne became clearer (still have a long way to go) and I gained a whole lot of self-confidence and self-love.

現在我上大學了。幾年前我就開始改變自己的飲食習慣,每周鍛煉4-6次。起初我是不情願做這些改變的,但是考慮到我超級想減肥,所以我就開始了。沒過多久我就愛上了健康飲食和鍛煉。甩掉肥肉也沒花多長時間,痘痘也慢慢消下去了(雖然還遠沒有到膚若凝脂的地步),而且我還變得更加自信自愛了。

《初戀這件小事》片段

Thinking back now, how I used to be the lone, hostile and aggressive person, I now become a more social, joyous and approachable person. Who knew that in a span of a few years, there can be a 180-degree change in personality and perspective?

回望過去那個孤單怨憤還長滿刺的我,現在的我社交能力變強了,也變開心了,人家都願意接近我了。誰會知道在短短幾年裡,我的性格態度會有180度的大轉彎呢?

I think that if it were not for the bullies who constantly taunt me for my appearance, my family who is concerned with my weight, and my own determination to lose that weight so that I won’t be a victim of bullying again, I wouldn’t have changed even for a bit. I am proud to say that whatever changes I did to myself, it made me healthier, happier and hopeful for a better future.

我覺得,如果沒有那些欺負我的人成天奚落嘲諷我的外貌,沒有我的家人擔心我的體重,沒有我自己為不受欺凌而減肥的決心,那麼我一點改變也做不到。我可以很自豪的說,我對自己做出的改變,都讓我更健康,更開心,更滿懷希望。

對於每一個在青春期因為相貌和旁人不一樣而受到霸凌的人來講,慢慢建立起自信是多麼需要時間和勇氣的事情。

《一天》劇照

願每一個人都能在弱勢的時候受到溫柔的對待。

今天的節目就到這兒,好看的你,晚安,好夢

感謝好聽的音樂

norway – 菅野よう子

amenohi – 松田光由

Notes

prep school: n 預備學校

approach: v 接近

intimidate: v 恐嚇;威脅

odd: adj 奇怪的

batchmate: n 同年級同學

bully: n 仗勢欺人者;惡霸學生

ogre: n (傳說中的)食人惡魔

skewed: adj 有失偏頗的;不準確的

hostility: n 敵意

sliver: n (切下或碎裂的)小塊薄片

tame: v 馴化;馴服

resilient: adj 有適應力的;可迅速恢復的

shattered: adj 遭受極大打擊的;極度驚愕難過的

reluctant: adj 不情願的

acne: n 痤瘡;粉刺

joyous: adj 高興的;快樂的

taunt: v 嘲笑;諷刺;奚落

主播:拉面

編輯:李雪晴

這是「夜聽雙語」第24期的節目,下周日見!

本欄目由中國日報雙語新聞與奧德賽閱讀聯合出品。

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