我憑實力單的身,幹嘛老暗示你喜歡我丨夜聽雙語

2018.7.29 周日

單身

答應我,別再憑實力單身了,好嗎?

表白

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社交媒體上抱著愛豆舔屏,東邊一個牆頭,西邊一個老公,現實中卻連對象都沒有。這已經成了很多人的情感現狀。

但你是否在夜深人靜的時候,盤點起白天的點點滴滴,覺得那個人是不是喜歡自己?

好運氣常常光顧那些仔細的人。

今天我們分享的這個故事來自一位外國網友「RickyButler」。她自稱在餐廳當服務生,另一個服務生小哥呢對她有好感,他屢次示好Ricky都沒意識到。她是怎麼做到的呢?

一起來聽聽看。

Last night, I went out for drinks with a coworker. It took me waaaaayyy too long to realize it was kind of a date and I was real awkward about it.

我昨天晚上和一個同事出去喝東西了。不過我真的好晚好晚才知道他是要跟我約會來著,搞得我超級尷尬。

So, I am a server. Yesterday, I worked a 12-hour double with this dude server. He doesn’t talk a lot (English isn’t his first language) but he’s friendly with me. He and I would joke around a bit during lulls between guests. I’ve thought he might be a little interested in me, but there had been no major overtures. Also, I think he’s attractive.

我是做服務生的。昨天我和這個家夥一起工作了12個小時。他話不多(英語不是他母語)但對我蠻好的。客人不多的時候我倆也會插科打諢。我也想過他可能是對我有點兒意思,但是也沒主動表示過。呃,我覺得他挺可愛的。

We had a weird incident with a guest. Afterward, he was like “I’m never gonna forget this day. Also, because I’ve had fun with you.” FIRST MISSED CLUE

有個客人跟我們鬧得很不愉快。過後,這家夥跟我說:「我絕對忘不了今天了,也是因為咱倆今天玩兒得很開心啊。」腦子宕機一次

He and I close the restaurant with our manager. He asks where I catch the train and it turns out his stop is close to mine. He says “OK. We’ll walk together.” No bigs. I walk to the train with my coworkers often.

昨晚我倆和經理打烊下班。他問我在哪兒坐地鐵,結果發現他要去的地鐵站隔我的很近。他就說:「正好,我們可以一起走啊!」 呃……也不是什麼大事兒,我經常和同事們一起去地鐵站。

Manager locks the doors, all three of us are standing around outside bullsh* for a few minutes. Dude server goes “We’ve gotta get going. Goodnight, manager.” OKAY HERE’S A SECOND CLUE MA’AM

經理把餐廳門鎖上之後,我們仨站在外頭又嘮了會兒嗑。這家夥說:「我們得走了。晚安啦經理。」很好!錯失良機兩次了 女士

Dude and I start walking to the train. As we’re getting close, he pulls out his phone and says “It’s only 11. You wanna get a drink?” I say sure, unthinking. Post-work drinks are a benign thing, right? I’ve gone out with other servers before. Not one-on-one, no. But, it’s cool, babies. Don’t worry. This is super normal.

我和他一起往地鐵站走。快到的時候,他拿出手機,說:「才11點誒,要不要喝一杯?」 我說:「好啊」,啥也沒想。下班喝個酒又不是啥壞事兒,對吧?我之前也和別的服務生出去喝過酒啊,雖然不是只有兩個人,但沒事兒的吧。別瞎想了,這很正常。

I haven’t lived in this city long, so I told him to pick a place. He suggests a bar and we start walking. We’re talking and as we approach the bar, he’s like “It’s a cool place. Quiet. Nice. We can talk.” THIRD CLUE, IDIOT

因為我在這個城市待的時間不長,所以我就叫他來選地方。他說了一個酒吧,我們就開始往那邊走。邊走邊聊,他說:「那地方挺好的,又安靜,咱倆可以說話。」第三次啦!你傻嗎

He opens all the doors for me. Pulls out my chair. At this point, I’m kind of comprehending what I’ve gotten myself into, but am not sure I’m right. He and I look at the drink menu, talk about what we’re going to order.

他又是幫我開門,又是給我扯出來椅子。這個時候,我倒是有點兒明白了這是個啥情況,但也不是很確認。我倆看著菜單,討論點什麼喝的。

The bartender comes over and he orders both our drinks, mine first. I turn to him and say “Oh, you didn’t have to order my drink for me. I could’ve done that.”

酒保走了過來,他點了單,先點的我的東西。我轉向他說道:「誒,你不用幫我點啊,我可以自己來啊。」

This poor kid’s face turns in on itself like I’ve just said his grandma had to work hard to send him birthday money. He shrugs, turns red, and looks away.

這家夥那張可憐臉立馬低了下去,就好像我剛剛說的是他奶奶得拼命工作才能給他發生日紅包似的。他聳了聳肩,臉通紅,看向了別處。

IT IS AT THIS MOMENT I FULLY REALIZE THAT I HAVE F* UP. I am on a (surprise to me) half-date and I have just hurt a person’s feelings.

直到這時候我才完全意識到我已經把事情搞砸了!我置身於一個準約會(我也沒想到),而且我剛剛傷害了對方。

I panic (inside), try to back-pedal and thank him. Sh* is slightly awkward but pleasant.

我心裡有點方,想收回剛剛的話,然後對他表示感激。氣氛有點尬,但還算融洽。

Then, he asks if I’m hungry. I’m not, but I tell him to order something if he wants to eat. He orders a sandwich. The bartender brings back two plates (The f* bartender knew this was date-y. How did I not know this?!)

隨後他又問我餓不餓。其實我不餓,但我還是跟他說如果他想吃的話就點一些。他點了個三明治。結果酒保拿過來兩個盤子(酒保都知道這是約會!我怎麼就不知道!!!)

Sandwich arrives and dude will not touch half of it. This kid is young, in good shape and could obviously eat a whole f* sandwich on his own. He is clearly leaving the other half for me. I get the hint, and take a couple bites.

三明治來了,結果這家夥壓根兒就沒碰另一半。他年紀小,身材也好,一個人吃掉一整個三明治完全沒問題。很明顯,他是把另一半三明治留給我了。哎,我也只能接碴,咬了幾口。

It’s getting close to last train time, so he asks for the check. Bartender brings it, kid puts down his card, closes the little check thing and slides it across the bar. I insist on splitting the bill. He is like 「You ate three bites of the food. You don’t have to pay for that.」 I do anyway, and we leave.

末班地鐵快到了,他叫來酒保買單。酒保把單子拿過來,他把卡放在桌上,結了帳。我堅持要AA。他說:「那個三明治你就吃了三口,不用給了」。我不管,我還是AA了。之後我們就離開了酒吧。

We’re going different directions on the train, so we start the goodbye process where the platforms split. He opens his arms and I give him a quick hug. I don’t mind. He’s nice, and like I said, I suspected a bit of a mutual crush has been brewing.

我倆地鐵不同方向,在站台分開的地方,我們就開始道別。他張開雙臂,我飛速抱了一下。我又不介意,他人挺好的,而且就像我說的,我可能我們心裡那點兒好感在醞釀中了。

As I’m walking away, I get the urge to look over my shoulder.

我往前走,心裡卻一直想著回頭看一眼。

And, this part is kind of sweet, he’s walking backwards to his train, watching me walk to my mine and he has this big ol’ goofy smile on his face. So, what do I do? I spin around, F* SALUTE him and then continue on to my train. Jesus Christ.

然後,這個就有點兒甜了。他為了看著我走,自己一直倒著走,臉上還掛著傻笑。呃,我該咋辦呢?我就……轉過身,給他敬了個禮,然後回頭趕車去了。老天爺啊。

如果有人對你示好,你要是不感興趣,那倒也罷。要是你本就對人有意思,錯過了暗示豈不是很可惜。

主動點兒吧!怕什麼!

好了,今天的節目就到這裡,親愛的你,晚安,好夢。

Notes

coworker:n 同事

lull:n 間歇

overture:n 示好

benign:adj 沒有壞處的

comprehend:v 理解

back-pedal:v 出爾反爾

mutual:adj 雙方的

brew:v 醞釀

urge:n 衝動

goofy:adj 傻傻的

主播:拉面

編輯:李雪晴


這是「夜聽雙語」第23期的節目,下周日見!

本欄目由中國日報雙語新聞與奧德賽閱讀聯合出品。

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